We won.

I had the pleasure of covering the elections for NBC News. I was in the DPS area as we were on the air from 7pm until 3am for our lengthy coverage of the most important historical moments I have ever witnessed. To many viewers I'm aware that it was a landslide victory from early on, but since I was there to do a job, I didn't notice what everyone else probably did much earlier than I.
That we won.
I mostly work in sports, where you are not allowed to cheer for your team (not that I really have one, so this isn't really a problem for me... plus my husband's team doesn't win often enough for me to cheer loudly). But that night, in that tiny little playback area that I was assigned to, we cheered. Because this was so much bigger than sport.
We cheered because a brilliant man, a thoughtful unifier of people, a black American became the 44th President of the United States of America. I don't care that his middle name is Hussein. I cheer because the majority of Americans could see beyond such a thing and STILL elect the best man for this job.

"She's invited..."

Let me start by saying that I will never, ever judge anyone who has help and doesn't work. Let me clarify: when I say 'doesn't work' I simply mean 'doesn't get PAID for their work', as is the situation of all stay-at-home-moms. Not that I judged before... but having the experience of caring for two now gives me true insight into the plight.

It's wonderful. Don't get me wrong. We're blessed. I'm thrilled. But I'm also just plain exhausted.

I've been talking to Ava about G-d. Trying to explain the intangible essence. I explain that G-d isn't a person, but rather a spirit. Then I start using pronouns and say 'he/she'. This confuses things, of course.
Me: "G-d is everywhere, honey. He or she is always with us.
Ava: "G-d's a she, even though I know she's a spirit and is neither a boy or a girl" (she really said this -- after several conversations with me about G-d)
Me: "Really? OK. I'm glad that you know that."
Ava: "I love G-d. G-d's invited to my birthday party."

How do I address the invitation?

Groundhog Day

That's what my life is at the moment.

Ryan, Joan and I have moved into the city for the duration of the Olympics and we've gotten into a nice little routine. I get home from work anywhere between 2 and 3am, I feed the baby, we go to sleep, wake up again around 7, feed him again, and then eventually they go out for a walk and I inevitably think, "Oh it would be so nice to join them in Central Park, but I'm just going to rest my head for a few minutes..." and before I know it, it's 3:15pm and it's time for me to wake up and go back to work. So while there's not necessarily time for much fun, we're in a good rhythm. Joan has been really wonderful with him and I am so relieved. Ava, Ken and Cate are back at home and enjoying the remainder of the summer.

I'm rolling both the Primetime and Late Night shows to air and I've got a great AD on the other end of the world which makes the work side of things fantastic. But these are some really long days, for instance, tonight we're on the air from 8pm until 1 am, then have a half-hour break before coming back on the air with Late Night for an hour. So while it's not brain surgery the hours are grueling. It is really nice to be back in the city, though.

If you're watching, hope you're enjoying the Games!

Here's what I know:

The boundaries you think you have for loving a finite number of people can be expanded to fit many, many people... especially when one of those people is a little baby who looks at you as if to say you are his everything.

I remember the moment three and a half years ago when I fell in love with Ava. We were in my hospital room and it was the first time that Ava and I were alone after a day surrounded by family and friends who had come to visit. I wasn't expecting the moment, I wasn't waiting for bells to chime or anything, but in that quiet moment as I sat in my hospital bed, I held her and looked at her I was hit with it. Complete and pure love. They say your heart now lives outside of your body and it's true.

So now I had expectations for this moment with bebe deux. But sure enough, and I suppose not so miraculously, kind of like the way you can still be hungry for dessert after being completely full from your wonderful dinner, I have fallen in complete and total love with my son, Ryan. And the joy in knowing how happy he makes Ken, makes me feel beyond blessed. It's everything I've ever wanted.

Excitement with a dash of wistfulness

While I am thrilled to add to our family, I am also mourning the disruption of the rhythm of having just one child. It's a combination of 'we have finally found a routine that works' coupled with, 'she's such a great little girl - what the heck are we doing shaking this up?' Since our due date for bebe deux is actually tomorrow, I now fall asleep each night thinking, 'this could be the last night of the family as we know it'. I'm not complaining, just taking note of the dramatic changes about to ensue.

I think Ava is going to be an amazing big sister. Ever since I gave the baby a voice (yes, much like a ventriloquist's dummy... go ahead, make fun...) she's been responding to it positively. Now when she realizes that this baby will not actually speak for a long time, she might be upset with me, but that's a bridge we'll cross when the time comes.

laps on the lake

Our friend Kristen lives on Lake Truesdale in South Salem which is quite a special place to live. Her backyard slopes down to a gorgeous dock where they have the sweetest setup for lake-lovers! Ava was lucky enough to go kayaking last week with Kristen, who, in Ava's words, is "...my friend AND my babysitter."

It's been a great start to the summer for us. From small-town carnivals to pool-time (I must admit that I have a small problem with the town pool... I don't like to share my pool) it's been fantastic so far. Ava is such a happy little girl.

laying it on

I called Ava from work last night to say a quick goodnight, not anticipating what I was in for. The biggest guilt trip she's laid on me to date. I first talked to Joan who told me about the great day they had together and how they had just gotten in from outside so she was having a late dinner. They played all day long. She passed the phone to drama queen.
Me: "Hi Babe!! How are you?"
Ava: (in very sad voice) "I miss you SO much, Mama!"
Me: "I miss you, too, honey."
Ava: (in pitifully sad voice) "I will dream about you tonight, Mama!"
Me: "Aw, honey... I love you so much!"
Ava: (in mournfully sad voice) "I will hug you in my dreams, Mama!"
Me: "When I come home, I'll give you so many kisses and hugs."
Ava: "But you're not home now. I'm so sad." (She passes phone back to Joan)

Skip, (my technical director): "How old is she now?"
Me: "Three and a half."
Skip: "You're in for trouble ahead."

I sure am.

pictures from Spain

Moorish tiles at the Alcazar in Seville


more from the Alcazar


"How close can I get without getting soaked?" at the Plaza de Espana


Ava hard at work at her desk in Madrid


teaching the finer points of juggling: "Up, up... catch, catch!" (only had two balls to juggle with)


our final night's sunset at the Hacienda


taking Cinderella to the ball


loving her flamenco dress


Aunt Amy & Uncle Andy leaving the fair in Jerez-de-la-Frontera


the Macks at dinner


Aunt Amy and Ava (perfecting the art of the half-smile)


the whole kit and caboodle


matador numero uno


Ava playing with the filthy water in the public fountain, and her mama doing nothing about it except capturing the moment


grumpy faced family (it was the only way we could subsequently get Ava to smile)


Ava undoubtedly singing something to her fans in Ronda


walking the edge of our pool at the Hacienda


Ava, Eli and Bruno


more from the fair in Jerez


Mimi, Ava and me


GranTed reading "Why Mommy Is A Democrat" to Ava and Eli


Aunt Jen, Eli and Ken lambin' it up (inside joke for those there)

Viva Espana

Awesome, awesome trip. It only could have been more awesome if I didn't have to cradle my burgeoning belly while climbing uphill in Ronda. I think I did a good job of handling all of the activity that everyone else was enjoying, but I was exhausted!
We came to Spain to celebrate my mother-in-law's 70th birthday and it was spectacular. We spent the first seven days at Hacienda de San Rafael about 40 minutes south of Seville (www.haciendadesanrafael.com). We had our own private pool and dining area and ate most of our meals under the cover of blooming purple wisteria. Ava and Eli fell asleep on the two daybeds that were adjacent to the table and we would carry them to our rooms each night. They barely had to adjust when we came home because we often didn't eat before 10:30. From our hacienda we would do day trips to places like Ronda, Cadiz, Jerez-de-la-Frontera and Seville.
We went to a fair in Jerez that was amazing! Beautiful horses, lights, flamenco dresses... truly special. Happens only once a year.
I saw my first (and last) bullfight and chalked up the roaring crowd to just simply a major cultural difference. There was beauty in it on the one hand in the sense that the matadors moved like dancers, yes, but mostly it was cruel and barbaric because the bull never had a chance. I left and wandered around the outskirts of Seville with Amy after the first kill.
Moved up to Seville for a night so that we could experience that city before taking the train up to Madrid, which I adored. Spent a rainy day in a museum and when the sun came out we bus toured all over the city. Each neighborhood more beautiful than the next. I loved Madrid. Then again, I loved Milan. And I love New York. There is a lot of similarity between the three cities in terms of their crowded nature, and I felt very much at home there. I loved their parks and playgrounds and loved watching Ava have so much fun.
It's so easy to just stay at home and let life move at it's pace, but for me, it is so very important to change your scenery every now and then. I am so appreciative.

completely surprised!

Totally shocked! Utterly stunned!
I thought I was having dinner with Alicia and Annette tonight at Bacio and walked in to a SURPRISE!! I had absolutely NO idea. Never even crossed my mind. Never expected it for a second. It was such a great time!!! Pictures to follow. Also have to write about Spain, which was fantastic!
I was also totally shocked and utterly stunned when the sonogram technician surprised us with a 4D sonogram, showing us the picture of our baby before we actually meet it. Still don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but we know what it looks like! A little strange, if you ask me.

little married couple

They're like a little married couple... today they were playing and bickering and through tears after a particularly frustrating exchange, Michael said, "I love you, Ava." Ava replied, "I love you too, Michael."

Ken's 40th Birthday

It's jarring when your husband turns the age that you can remember your parents turning and thinking this was ANCIENT when you were a kid. Ken turned 40 this past weekend which was the culmination of a month-long "Celebration of Ken". As his mother said, "his wings are clipped". Exactly. We had a houseful of guests, which makes me so, so happy. Ava loves that, too, especially when it involves her cousin Eli.


We had a great weekend, celebrating with a party on Saturday night that was fantastic. It's amazing to think that we have such good friends in a community that we only moved to three and a half years ago. We feel so blessed to have ended up here.

I am completely exhausted, wondering how the heck I'm going to prepare for a two-week vacation that we are leaving for on Thursday, when I barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning. I am really looking forward to going to Spain, it's just the getting ready to do so that I'm not looking forward to. We'll be staying about 45 minutes outside of Seville at Hacienda de San Rafael, which thankfully looks like a lovely place to lounge poolside, which is probably about all that I can handle being that I'm nearly eight months pregnant. I'm heading to the doctor on Wednesday just to make sure I can still travel.

I'm sure there will be much to add at the end of our trip!

"YOU'RE unacceptable!"

We're driving into the city. I'm driving, Judy's in the passenger seat (so I have a witness) and Ava's in her car seat in the back. She says something that is just plain wrong for a three year old to be saying.
Me: "Ava! That is UNACCEPTABLE!!"
Ava: "YOU'RE unacceptable!!" (said in perfect adult tone intended to drive the point home).

Ava and her very first friend, Gemma

our aspiring Rockette

Nesting?! I wish I could nest!!

So I think I had about one bout of nesting during this, my second pregnancy. It lasted all of about four hours, just about enough time to reorganize our coat closet. I could really use another wave of nesting motivation... we have so much work to do!
Lots of big changes with Ava over the last few months and weeks. No more paci's!! That was huge for her. We took Ivy's lead and talked about the "Bobo Fairy" (even though Ava never called her paci a bobo). We shopped for a special box and then painted it and finally wrapped all of her pacis in pink tissue paper and gave it to the bobo fairy. All she wanted in return was a Belle dress-up gown, so the next morning she came out of her room and found one hanging on the mantel. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. I will never forget it.

She's also in a big-girl bed... back in her room. She's actually been sleeping in a bed in the guest room since the end of last summer, but we finally have put her back in her room in her own bed.
I cannot believe how quickly these last three years seem to have gone.

what color are your eyes?

They're RED.
I'm so exhausted that RED is the appropriate answer and the one I chose to give when asked that question tonight. I'm working the NCAA Tournament for CBS Sports as a relief AD. I spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for people to take breaks, which is exhausting. I so prefer being busy. This sitting around gives me time to focus on my new psycho-somatic condition "restless legs syndrome". I wonder if I would still think I have this condition if I didn't roll the commercial for its remedy over and over.
But I digress.
From what exactly, I don't know.
I've had great chats with Ava since I've been away. She told me that she, Joan and Belle exercised this morning. When she feels like getting off the phone she says, "Bye, Mommy. You can talk to my sister Joannie now." It cracks me up. Every time. I love that kid.

Screaming for joy (?)

Poor Tyler.

Karie's last supper

So I go weeks without posting and now I'm posting several entries within one night. Go figure.
Here's a picture from dinner out with Karie (bottom row, second from right), who's expecting TWINS (and already has two toddlers at home). If there's anyone who can handle this situation with calm and grace, it's Karie. She amazes and inspires us with her relaxed demeanor. I have definitely learned from her.

Firewater

We are so fortunate to have found such a great group of people within our own neighborhood here in Bedford Hills and Katonah. These are some pictures from Steve Barbera's surprise 40th (HOW on earth are we all nearing 40??). The guys all started getting together almost a year ago on Thursday nights and have dubbed their gang "Firewater", for the large amounts of "water" they consume and the fact that they do it near a fire pit at Steve's house, usually (hence the votives in many of our hands in the picture). It's a group that couldn't have been handpicked any better, and we all live in the same neighborhood. Pretty amazing to have found them at a stage in life when you don't expect to meet good new friends.